Tales of the Temple Terrors: The Senatorial Incident
“This has got to be the most illegal thing we have ever done.” Kittenira Nite
muttered.
She could understand pranks, and banister sliding, and master dyeing, those all
had a purpose. This was just stupid. Sneaking into the senate chambers just to
see Ani’s crush, who, by the way, happened to be twenty! Anakin was fifteen!
“Don’t worry, no one’ll see us. I just have to see her Kitty; this might be my
only chance!”
His friend regarded him as if he were some sort unidentified variant of space
slug.
“Who are you, and what have you done with Anakin?”
“Kitty!”
“All’s clear!” A cheerful, slightly whirring voice chirped. Both padawans turned
to the little pink droid hovering in the darkened hallway.
Darkened because it was unused, and off limits. It was one of many unfinished
passageways throughout the senate chambers, used in the original construction of
the building then abandoned. A layer of dust coated the floor, and the air was
still and heavy.
“You sure?” Anakin asked his droid.
“Yep.”
“Great, let’s get out of here. This place is depressing.” Kitty started off,
leaving her human friend to catch up. Not that it was very difficult for him,
Kitty was unusually small, and Anakin had always been taller than her, but about
a year ago he had started growing at an alarming rate, and he hadn’t stopped.
At the end of the abandoned service hallway was a door, it wasn’t welded shut,
but the control panel had been covered up, naturally it wasn’t anymore thanks to
Kari’s tiny fusion laser.
Anakin was halfway through the doorway before Kitty could stop him.
“You are so not subtle.” She hissed, dragging him back into the service hall and
palming the door closed just in time to avoid a maintenance droid working it s
way down the already gleaming corridor.
Anakin blushed and stepped away form the door.
“Ladies first.”
A minute later they were both creeping through the gleaming marble corridors,
keeping to the shadows and avoiding senatorial aides and protocol droids.
“What box is she in?”
“I dunno.”
“Anakin!” Kitty groaned.
They were inside one of the unused box’s awaiting repair of some kind. Kitty
stood balanced precariously on the rim, secure in the knowledge that they would
not be noticed in the massive crowd.
Anakin searched desperately through a datacard looking for ‘Amidala’ on the list
of visiting dignitaries.
“You had better hope she’s here.”
“Aha! Box 2,306!”
He jumped up and grabbed the macrobinoculars away from Kitty, joining her on the
box’s rim and almost falling in his excitement.
“Easy there blondie, I don’t think the folks below us would appreciate having
you fall into their laps, look at what happened to Obi wan when you fell into
his lap.”
There were a pair of obese, many limbed, slimy, slug-like Plastiods below them.
Anakin shivered. “They do sort of resemble him though don’t they?”
“Not really. Unless he starts sprouting limbs anytime soon… or stops eating that
organic junk and put on a little weight.”
“There she is! Kitty I can see her! Oh wow! Kitty it’s her, it’s her Kitty, its
Padme’! Oh Kitty she’s so beautiful, she hasn’t changed a bit!”
Kitty had to pull him back as he ounce again leaned too far out.
“You wanna see Kitty?”
Kitty took the macrobinoculars from him and focused in on box 2,306.
“Actually Ani, I think it s a guy, and personally I’m really not into the
wrinkly, gray-haired type, but hey, it’s your life.”
Kari snickered and Anakin blushed.
“Not that one bantha brains, the pretty one sitting behind him!” Kitty pretended
to adjust the macrobinoculars.
“Oh I see! That’s much better; you had me worried there for a minute,”
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Anakin asked in a dreamy voice.
Kitty grinned; Ani was such a dork when it came to females! This on did look
pretty nice she supposed, although she’d have looked nicer without all the head
stuff and make-up. She didn’t really seem Ani’s type though.
“I dunno Ani; she doesn’t really seem your type.”
“What do you mean?” Anakin asked worriedly.
“She looks kind of like a, I dunno, decoration. A pretty but useless little
glass bauble, you know what I mean?”
Anakin laughed in relief,
“You haven’t seen her with a blaster! She’s not really like that, it’s just an
impression most people get until they meet her.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Kitty handed the macrobinoculars back and set about setting up a datafeed up to
their box’s comm system with a translator speaker so that they could hear what
was being said. The Supreme Chancellor’s voice filled the box.
“--- newly elected Senator Amidala of Naboo.”
“So that’s why she’s here!” Anakin said form the rim of the box, the macro’s
still glued to his face, watching the Naboo box move out into the chamber.
“Crap, I can’t see her anymore!”
Macros still glued to his face, Anakin scrambled down from the box’s rim. Not
looking where his feet where going, he slipped, his booted foot slamming into
the control panel as he fell onto the floor of the box. The panel chimed
obligingly, and came alive with flashing lights.
“I have a bad feeling about this.” Kitty said, pulling her dazed friend off the
floor. Anakin glanced at the control panel and his eyes widened.
“Uh oh.”
The box pulled away from its moorings with a groan of strained metal, abruptly
throwing its occupants on their collective behinds. Outraged shouts poured from
the speakers as the box accelerated to the middle of the massive chamber and
stopped suddenly, sending Anakin and Kitty back into the edge of the box and
almost sending Kari into space. Anakin snatched her back and stuffed her into
his robe pocket with a quickly muttered apology as the box changed direction
again, this time going up. Senate guards sped out on speeder bikes, yelling for
them to halt.
Losing patience with the idiots quickly, Kitty leaned over the edge and yelled
at them as loud as she could, “We’re not flying the thing you morons!”
“Kitty, get down!” Anakin yelled. Their box was headed straight for the Naboo
box. Thinking fast, Kitty grabbed Anakin by the arm and leaped to of the box,
gesturing wildly towards the pilot of the Naboo box. Catching on, the pilot
moved his box fractionally so that the two boxes would pass with barely a foot
between them.
“This is so embarrassing.” Anakin groaned, and together they leapt into box
2,306, landing in a heap at the elegant feet of Senator Amidala.
“They’re only children!” A surprised aide said, lowering his blaster and helping
them up. “Where did you to learn something like that?”
The more experienced pilot, having recognized their clothing and braids,
laughed.
“They’re Jedi apprentices Jok; I seriously doubt they had much trouble.”
“Easy for you to say.” Kitty muttered.
The aide peered at them closely, and an annoyed Kitty met his gaze with narrowed
eyes and an almost imperceptible growl, tail twitching back and forth behind
her. Anakin elbowed her and an echoing “Be nice.” Filled her mind.
“And what are two Jedi apprentices doing at a senate meeting?” An amused female
voice spoke from behind them. Anakin looked ready to die.
“Um, well, you see your, er, highness, or um, I mean senatorness, er…”
Anakin’s eyes were glued to his toes, his face bright red and apparently unable
to form a coherent thought.
“Oh we just were curious was all.” Kitty breezed, stepping hard on Anakin’s
foot.
“whats is two jedis a curious about mesa wonders?”
Anakin’s eyes widened in his red face. He had been so caught up in seeing Padme’,
he hadn’t even noticed Jar Jar.
“I really don’t know. It wasn’t my idea. You see ANAKIN here—“
“Anakin!?”
“Kitty!” Anakin groaned in her mind.
“Ani, that yousa?” Finally raising his face from the ground, he smiled
sheepishly,
“Hey Jar Jar.”
“Ani!” The funny creature swept him up in a bone-crushing hug, making Kitty
laugh.
“Jar Jar, you’re killing him.” The senator laughed. The tall alien set him down
apologetically.
“Yousa so tall mesa not recognizing you Ani!” Kitty took a moment to take a
closer look at Ani’s Padme’ while the others were focused on greeting Anakin,
and decided she looked much nicer up close. Or maybe she just looked nicer now
that she was smiling. As she stepped forward and greeted Ani, it was as if a
mask fell from her painted face, and Kitty decided she liked it.
“Who’s your friend?” She was asking.
“Huh? Oh yeah. Uh, this is Kitty. I mean, her names Kittenira Nite, but everyone
just calls her Kitty. She’s my friend.”
“Nice to meet you Kitty.” Kitty bowed out of habit… her master would have been
proud.
Throughout the course of the conversation, the box had returned to its moorings,
and the senate had disbanded for a brief recess and lunch.
“Anakin!!!” Anakin winced and Kitty groaned. Standing at the entrance to the box
was Obi wan Kenobi, open mouthed, shocked and steaming.
Anakin and Kitty exchanged glances, duplicate images of the council in the same
state of shock running through their minds.
“Uh oh.”
“Kitty?! What are you doing here? Please tell me you didn’t have something to do
with the out of control senatorial box I’m here to investigate.”
Silence.
“Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
“Obi wan!” Jar Jar Binks ran forward and swept the slack--jawed Jedi into a
overenthusiastic hug.
“Jar Jar, are you trying to reduce the Jedi population today or what?” The aide
suggested, noticing Obi wan’s purpling face.
Only when Jar Jar stepped back did Obi wan’s brain register the presence of the
others in the box.
“Senator, its good to see you again. Congratulations on your recent election. He
greeted with a small bow, ounce again the distinguished Jedi Knight. “I see
you’ve met the Temple Terrors.”
“Temple Terrors?”
“The worst pranksters in the Jedi Order.”
“Oh.”
“No damage done I hope?”
“No, its perfectly alright.”
“Tell that to the Council.” Obi wan said, one hand on each of the Padawan’s
shoulders. “How did two you get in here?”
Kitty winked. “Trade secret.”
“Kitty…”
“Okay, Okay. So you see, there was this really big hawk bat. And it stole Ani.
And it flew into the Senate building. Now, of course I knew that I shouldn’t go
in, but the hawk bat had Ani. Otherwise, I never would have come in of course.
So anyway, I followed it here, and I through my lightsaber at it, and its head
kinda popped. You know, like a big pimple? So Ani was falling, and I ran into
the box and started it up and whizzed out to get him, but I lost control , and
it was flying all over the place, so we jumped into this box, and that’s what
happened.”
Silence greeted Kitty’s confession.
“And that, Senator, is why Jedi make crappy politicians.” Obi wan told them.
“What! You don’t believe me?”
“Of course I believe you Kitty. After all, hawk bats regularly kidnap Skywalkers
and have pimple like heads that pop as they fly--totally unnoticed by anyone
save for little Feralians—through intergalactic Senatorial meetings. Hmm, now
why would I have any reason not to believe you?”
“I’m glad you have such faith in my honesty.” Kitty said nobly.
“Maybe she wouldn’t make such a terrible politician after all.” The pilot
muttered to the aide.
“I don’t suppose you have anything to add?” Obi wan asked his poker-faced
apprentice.
“Actually, I’m rather hungry. Getting kidnapped by hawk bats tends to have that
effect on me.”
“Anakin, everything has that effect on you.” Obi wan reminded him.
“Yes, but pimple-popping hawk bat heads have a proven effect on the appetite.”
Kitty said.
“Yes, I was just noticing that.” Obi wan looked a little green.
“So, what’s for lunch? Anakin asked.
The amused Naboo delegation had watched the scene with barely contained
laughter, and Padme decided that it would be refreshing relief to have lunch
with some old friends.
“Actually, we were just on our way to lunch, would you like to join us?”
“Sure!” Both apprentices responded enthusiastically, although Obi wan looked
doubtful.
“Are you sure you want to risk it.”
Padme grinned at Anakin. “We’ll risk it.”
Jedi weren’t known to frequent expensive restaurants, and although Anakin had
been in one several times, he had never eaten in one, or paid much attention to
his surroundings, having always been on Council business.
They were seated in a particularly famous one at the moment, Alderrani in style,
with a beautiful view of an indoor-forest and a small lake on the upper most
level of coruscant.
The food sounded pretty good, although some of it was just plain weird. Kitty
had taken the first opportunity available to loudly point those out.
“Plicadi and yagi cheese-stuffed blacusoin bladder soaked in laso fermented Chul
urine? What kind of perverted whacko’s eat this stuff?”
Apparently, the people at the table next to them. Obi wan was mortified, and
Anakin chocked on his expensive fruit drink, his face ounce again red as some of
the almost-neon green juice dribbled out of his nose.
Obi wan was, at present, hiding behind a large flower arrangement, while the
Naboo delegation struggled to keep their own drinks down.
Luckily, the food came soon, offering a much needed distraction. An intelligent
conversation had started up at some point, and between bites Anakin gazed
fixedly at Senator Amidala.
“Where’s your master then?” The Senator asked Kitty. (Kitty had decided she
liked her after all.)
“She had to go on a mission without me, so I get to stay with Ani and Master Obi
wan. Its pretty fun, but neither of them can cook because everything Obi wan
cooks is made with this healthy ‘natural’ stuff and smells almost as bad as what
that weirdo over there is eating, and last time Ani tried to cook they evacuated
the temple because they thought someone had poured poisoness gases through the
ventilation system.”
Both the aide and the pilot were in stitches, Jar Jar was already on the floor,
and the Senator was struggling to swallow while laughing at the same time. Obi
wan eased back behind his flower arrangement, and Anakin banged his head
repeatedly against the table edge.
Kitty continued eating, ignoring her companions odd behavior completely.
“First decent food I’ve had since Master Yara left. Sheesh Ani, you’re gonna
dent your head!”
“I’m glad I got to meet you Kitty. And it was good to see you again Obi wan. You
to Ani.” Leaning forward, she placed a quick kiss on Anakin’s cheek, which
immediately reddened considerably. He was surprised to realize that she no
longer had to bend down to reach him, they were of the same height.
“Always a pleasure.” Obi wan smiled and dropped a short bow.
On impulse, Kitty gave her a quick hug catching the Senator completely off
guard. Stepping back, she grinned, “You’re not so bad. I actually like you- and
you’re a politician!”
Obi wan shook his head, “What a diplomatic thing to say Kitty.”
“Its alright, I like you to.”
“good bye then.” Obi wan said, placing a hand on either of his charges
shoulders.
“Bye-bye.” Jar Jar chimed in.
Turning, the delegation walked away, back to their senatorial duties.
“Well, that was interesting.” Was Obi wan’s comment.
“She’s good, I approve.” Was Kitty’s.
But Anakin just stood there and watched until the delegation turned a corner and
was gone.
Anakin leaned his head back against the turbolift wall, trying to quell the
butterflies that rose in his stomach. It had only been four years ago, but had
she changed? Obi wan wasn't at all pleased with his padawans continued
affections for the senator, Anakin knew. He'd have to be careful, the last thing
he needed was to get himself kicked ou of the Order...
But as the turbolift door opened, and his eyes fell on the surprisingly small
form of Padme' Amidala, he found himself wondering if perhaps she was worth it,
after all.